Leadership Defined by Cynthia Cooper
Are you the type of leader your horses willingly follow?
In her book ’Empowered Horses’, Imke Spilker offers a new perspective on the relationship with horses and says “Togetherness is the foundation for which everything else proceeds. Togetherness – not hierarchy – puts us on the same level. Togetherness is the prerequisite for influencing each other from within the depths of our being.”
I think most people strive for that ‘togetherness’ or feeling at one with their horse, so why would we want to overly control and dominate our horses. Isn’t partnership about listening to the perspective of the other, taking each other’s feelings into consideration and adjusting our requests/desires accordingly?
Why should we have all the say? Sure, for issues of safety we still need respect, and trust, so can that be achieved without dominant, negative leadership?
I believe it can with positive, passive and calm, assertive leadership.
Mark Rashid explained the notion of passive leadership in his books through observing herd behaviour. He noticed that the herd often had a dominant leader, and a passive leader.
The horses generally avoided the dominant leader who used aggression to retain their place in the pecking order (generally at the top), but were happy to follow the passive leader and spend time with her. What sort of leader would you like to be? One that your horse wants to spend time with, or avoids, for fear of dominant bossy behaviour.
I also agree with Deidre Sharp when she says in her article on All Herds Need a Leader:
“A good leader is fair, consistent and effective. Most lead horses are assertive but not overly aggressive, dominant but not mean. In order to create a relationship that is enjoyable and safe, we must establish and maintain our position as the alpha. We must be effective and benevolent leaders. We want to build our relationship with our horse based on trust, respect and compassion.”
I believe leadership is something you earn through being consistent, calm and fun to be with, by asking and suggesting while gently instilling boundaries where necessary such as in matters of safety or respect, just as we would with a good friend.
As Lesley Skipper says in her article on The Myth of Dominance here: http://homepage.ntlworld.com/zareeba/dominance.pdf
“So long as we are not seduced by some feeble vision of ‘boss and subordinate’, and instead think of the relationship as more of a partnership, with ourselves holding the controlling interest, but with ample room for input from the horse, we shall not go far wrong.
If instead of trying to subdue the horse, we start from concepts of co-operation and friendship, all kinds of possibilities become real. As Marthe Kiley-Worthington has said, we should make sure we are liked, not dominant!”
If we truly considered the horse to be our partner, then think about what sort of human leader you would choose to spend time with?
I know I’d rather be with someone who was brave, thoughtful, respectful, interesting and calm as a leader. Above all, I'd want them to be my friend.
Can you be that for your horse?
I think most people strive for that ‘togetherness’ or feeling at one with their horse, so why would we want to overly control and dominate our horses. Isn’t partnership about listening to the perspective of the other, taking each other’s feelings into consideration and adjusting our requests/desires accordingly?
Why should we have all the say? Sure, for issues of safety we still need respect, and trust, so can that be achieved without dominant, negative leadership?
I believe it can with positive, passive and calm, assertive leadership.
Mark Rashid explained the notion of passive leadership in his books through observing herd behaviour. He noticed that the herd often had a dominant leader, and a passive leader.
The horses generally avoided the dominant leader who used aggression to retain their place in the pecking order (generally at the top), but were happy to follow the passive leader and spend time with her. What sort of leader would you like to be? One that your horse wants to spend time with, or avoids, for fear of dominant bossy behaviour.
I also agree with Deidre Sharp when she says in her article on All Herds Need a Leader:
“A good leader is fair, consistent and effective. Most lead horses are assertive but not overly aggressive, dominant but not mean. In order to create a relationship that is enjoyable and safe, we must establish and maintain our position as the alpha. We must be effective and benevolent leaders. We want to build our relationship with our horse based on trust, respect and compassion.”
I believe leadership is something you earn through being consistent, calm and fun to be with, by asking and suggesting while gently instilling boundaries where necessary such as in matters of safety or respect, just as we would with a good friend.
As Lesley Skipper says in her article on The Myth of Dominance here: http://homepage.ntlworld.com/zareeba/dominance.pdf
“So long as we are not seduced by some feeble vision of ‘boss and subordinate’, and instead think of the relationship as more of a partnership, with ourselves holding the controlling interest, but with ample room for input from the horse, we shall not go far wrong.
If instead of trying to subdue the horse, we start from concepts of co-operation and friendship, all kinds of possibilities become real. As Marthe Kiley-Worthington has said, we should make sure we are liked, not dominant!”
If we truly considered the horse to be our partner, then think about what sort of human leader you would choose to spend time with?
I know I’d rather be with someone who was brave, thoughtful, respectful, interesting and calm as a leader. Above all, I'd want them to be my friend.
Can you be that for your horse?
Watch Your Thoughts! by Cynthia Cooper
When I discovered horses (and all other animals) could ‘hear’ me (or telepathically read my mind), I felt bad for ‘thinking’ not so nice thoughts about them.
I asked myself – “Would I greet a good friend with ‘hello fattie’ or say ‘Get going you lazy slob’?
I was embarrassed at some of the derogatory thoughts or messages I was sending my horses and decided I would be more polite.
Now I address them with respect – adding a Miss, Mrs or Mr to their names seems to help.
And I watch my thoughts, taking special note of the negative ones that creep into my mind through exposure to so much negative media on television, radio and in newspapers that seems to perpetuate such thoughts.
Just the other day, I was reminded to change my negative thought to a positive – or it would be self-fulfilling!
My young Arabian gelding used to get excited about getting his feed delivered and as I walked over to the feed tub, he would sometimes lash out with excitement.
When I focused on thinking about him walking calmly to the feed bin and used my tongue click to mark good behaviour (followed by the food delivery), he stopped kicking out.
But the other day, he was walking quite close to me and I came into line with his hip, and found myself thinking ‘you’re a good boy for not kicking at me’ and then he leapt forward and threw two hind feet at me!
I then remembered reading somewhere that animals don’t hear the ‘not, don’t, can’t etc.’ ahead of a word – and think you want them to do that action (nip, kick etc), so they are actually complying with your request!
It reminded me that if we think of something in the negative tense, we can fix that by turning it around into the positive.
For example, if I’d followed my negative thought ‘…for not kicking me’ with ‘…so please keep walking quietly to the feed bin’, I’m sure that would have happened.
Here are some more examples of how to change a negative thought into a positive:
- change ‘Don’t you nip me’ to ‘keep your nose to yourself’.
- change ‘I hope he does'nt buck’ to ‘Lets see if we can canter and maintain forwards’.
- change 'That looks scary – hope he does'nt shy’ to ‘It’s only a wheelie bin so be brave and walk right by’.
Thinking in the negative is not always a bad thing – it can help us see a potential problem (or manufacture one!), which won’t become a reality if we follow up those thoughts with a positive solution.
So watch you thoughts!
Read the following articles on my Natural Horse World website
How I Educate My Horses by Cynthia Cooper
Over the many years of being a student of the horse, pony club, Parelli, horse psychology, clicker training and many other great horsemen and women, I have learned a lot. In fact I’m a ‘learn-a-holic’!
Learning is something I will continue to do until the day I die!
When it comes to educating my own horses, I now use many techniques and tools that are evolving as I find out what they are most effective for.
I call this my ‘toolbox’ because I can choose whatever the horse or situation needs at the time.
Every horse is an individual, and can change from moment to moment so having a range of experiences and ‘tools’ to draw upon is extremely valuable. Continue reading here.....
Comfort Zones - what are they? by Cynthia Cooper
Horses have comfort zones as a survival mechanism.
If they aren’t familiar with something they become wary, putting them just outside their comfort zone into a ‘not too sure’ zone.
If they become truly afraid for their survival, they go into their ‘Oh no I’m dead’ zone where they act instinctively, without thinking.
This sort of reaction is what gets people and horses scared, hurt and unable to learn.
It is also described as the horse being ‘right brained’ and the following behaviors are some examples of a horse in it’s ‘oh no I’m dead’ zone: bucking, rearing, bolting, kicking, striking, charging, pulling back and shying. Continue reading ......
Treats for Horses - Why Use Them? by Cynthia Cooper
To horses, a treat is not a bribe unless you use it as one. I see it as a reward, or payment for a job well done. It offers incentive for the horse to earn more and they look forward to their work when payment is forthcoming.
Giving a horse a treat just as that – you’re thanking them for giving their time to join in with your games or a job that needs doing.
How many times would we turn up for work if we didn’t get paid. Some of us do voluntary work and enjoy praise and recognition as a reward – something common to predators such as humans and dogs. Continue reading ....
GIVING HORSES CHOICES - The beautiful Boronia by Cynthia Cooper
Yesterday at my Young Horse Day workshop I met a wonderful soul in Boronia, a young shire mare. I was asked to work with her because she wouldn’t be caught, especially in the paddock with the other horses.
She would give up in the yard as she knew she was unable to get away, and her owner saw her as a ‘problem child’, especially when she kicked out at her when the pressure was on. Continue reading ....
I asked myself – “Would I greet a good friend with ‘hello fattie’ or say ‘Get going you lazy slob’?
I was embarrassed at some of the derogatory thoughts or messages I was sending my horses and decided I would be more polite.
Now I address them with respect – adding a Miss, Mrs or Mr to their names seems to help.
And I watch my thoughts, taking special note of the negative ones that creep into my mind through exposure to so much negative media on television, radio and in newspapers that seems to perpetuate such thoughts.
Just the other day, I was reminded to change my negative thought to a positive – or it would be self-fulfilling!
My young Arabian gelding used to get excited about getting his feed delivered and as I walked over to the feed tub, he would sometimes lash out with excitement.
When I focused on thinking about him walking calmly to the feed bin and used my tongue click to mark good behaviour (followed by the food delivery), he stopped kicking out.
But the other day, he was walking quite close to me and I came into line with his hip, and found myself thinking ‘you’re a good boy for not kicking at me’ and then he leapt forward and threw two hind feet at me!
I then remembered reading somewhere that animals don’t hear the ‘not, don’t, can’t etc.’ ahead of a word – and think you want them to do that action (nip, kick etc), so they are actually complying with your request!
It reminded me that if we think of something in the negative tense, we can fix that by turning it around into the positive.
For example, if I’d followed my negative thought ‘…for not kicking me’ with ‘…so please keep walking quietly to the feed bin’, I’m sure that would have happened.
Here are some more examples of how to change a negative thought into a positive:
- change ‘Don’t you nip me’ to ‘keep your nose to yourself’.
- change ‘I hope he does'nt buck’ to ‘Lets see if we can canter and maintain forwards’.
- change 'That looks scary – hope he does'nt shy’ to ‘It’s only a wheelie bin so be brave and walk right by’.
Thinking in the negative is not always a bad thing – it can help us see a potential problem (or manufacture one!), which won’t become a reality if we follow up those thoughts with a positive solution.
So watch you thoughts!
Read the following articles on my Natural Horse World website
How I Educate My Horses by Cynthia Cooper
Over the many years of being a student of the horse, pony club, Parelli, horse psychology, clicker training and many other great horsemen and women, I have learned a lot. In fact I’m a ‘learn-a-holic’!
Learning is something I will continue to do until the day I die!
When it comes to educating my own horses, I now use many techniques and tools that are evolving as I find out what they are most effective for.
I call this my ‘toolbox’ because I can choose whatever the horse or situation needs at the time.
Every horse is an individual, and can change from moment to moment so having a range of experiences and ‘tools’ to draw upon is extremely valuable. Continue reading here.....
Comfort Zones - what are they? by Cynthia Cooper
Horses have comfort zones as a survival mechanism.
If they aren’t familiar with something they become wary, putting them just outside their comfort zone into a ‘not too sure’ zone.
If they become truly afraid for their survival, they go into their ‘Oh no I’m dead’ zone where they act instinctively, without thinking.
This sort of reaction is what gets people and horses scared, hurt and unable to learn.
It is also described as the horse being ‘right brained’ and the following behaviors are some examples of a horse in it’s ‘oh no I’m dead’ zone: bucking, rearing, bolting, kicking, striking, charging, pulling back and shying. Continue reading ......
Treats for Horses - Why Use Them? by Cynthia Cooper
To horses, a treat is not a bribe unless you use it as one. I see it as a reward, or payment for a job well done. It offers incentive for the horse to earn more and they look forward to their work when payment is forthcoming.
Giving a horse a treat just as that – you’re thanking them for giving their time to join in with your games or a job that needs doing.
How many times would we turn up for work if we didn’t get paid. Some of us do voluntary work and enjoy praise and recognition as a reward – something common to predators such as humans and dogs. Continue reading ....
GIVING HORSES CHOICES - The beautiful Boronia by Cynthia Cooper
Yesterday at my Young Horse Day workshop I met a wonderful soul in Boronia, a young shire mare. I was asked to work with her because she wouldn’t be caught, especially in the paddock with the other horses.
She would give up in the yard as she knew she was unable to get away, and her owner saw her as a ‘problem child’, especially when she kicked out at her when the pressure was on. Continue reading ....
